01 Aug Our Ordained Lieutenant Colonel

Jim Ellifritt (right) is an ordained United Brethren minister in Washington, who formerly pastored our church in Vancouver, Wash., and served for many years as the Northwest Conference superintendent. He is also a lieutenant colonel in the Army reserves.

Jim reports that he was recently stationed at Fort Lewis, about 120 north of Vancouver, where he and his wife live. He writes:

Looks like I will be home once a week for a day and then Deb will try to come up weekly once I get my lodging squared away. She still prefers two years here verses a year in the desert. [Jim has served in Afghanistan while his son, Jim Jr., simultaneously served in Iraq.]

They have given me a Battalion Command at Fort Lewis. It is a rare opportunity commanding fulltime as a reservist, so I am honored. They have had there struggles here, so pray I am up to the task. We are responsible for training all the small units going to Iraq and Afghanistan and other locations as needed. The training is for 40 days straight and we work 365 days a year, so there is an intense management process.

I am looking around again for a church to plug into here or a Bible study. I have one to check out tonight.

Below is a list of humorous “Lessons I’ve Learned,” which Jim wrote in 2004 while serving in Afghanistan.

• After 15 days, you really need to bathe all parts of your body. No matter how many baby wipes and how much baby powder you use, your body sticks to itself! And you really smell!
• You can wash from head to toe with five pints of water.
• Being shot at is highly over-rated.
• A three-week-old newspaper is still better than no news.
• A cup of Starbucks coffee will make most days begin civilized.
• Eating with local nationals is a privilege and a challenge.
• Drinking Chi (tea) out of an unwashed cup probably won’t kill you. Same with eating off unwashed plates.
• Lots of places cook and eat food that is very different. Goat brains are really gross looking!
• Imodium or Kaopectate is your friend. After a week of the trots, a little pill makes you mighty happy!
• When the nearest church is three hours away through “Indian country,” it’s still worth the drive.
• Letters from home can be read over and over, and usually are.
• Phone calls home are worth whatever it costs.
• People can live on less than $40 per month.
• The finest soldiers in the world are the young men and women representing America.
• God is in charge no matter where you are in the world or what the dominant religion is.
• One wife is better than four even if your religion allows it (Islam allows 4).
• No woman looks good in a burka.
• Electricity is for the weak. But it sure is nice to have.
• Expensive health care is better than no health care at all.
• Girls should go to school.
• You really can spend $1,000,000 in seven months and still have barely scratched the surface when it comes to humanitarian aide.
• Sand buggers are just part of life. Get ready to dig daily.
• There is nothing like the smell of burning human fecal matter (we burn ours daily).
• Running at 5200 feet is a challenge physically.
• Afghans are the most hospitable people in the world.
• Knowing a few Phastoo words opens many doors.