11 Jan Reflecting on the Last Two Years (Part 2)

A couple days ago, in Part 1, I discussed my dismay over the many churches that are disobedient to the Great Commission. Now I’d like to tackle a second issue that has concerned me as I interact with our churches.

2. The amount of conflict that exists in so many of our churches.
There are people in conflict with the pastor, pastors in conflict with the people, and people in conflict with other people in the church. Dealing with conflict in churches is without a doubt the most tiring part of this job. I’ve come to the conclusion that these two issues are related. Let me put it this way: if you aren’t going to fish, you will probably fight and may ultimately flee.

I can’t recall any church in severe conflict over whether they should have a goal of reaching 50 or 75 persons. I am sure there have been those places. But most conflict situations I experience can be summed up as control issues. Who gets to set the agenda for the church? Who determines ministry direction? Again, who is in control? But who really gets to set the agenda for a local church? Is it the pastor? The board? And how many agendas can a church have? Who gets to decide? I’ve sorta come to this: since the church really belongs to Jesus, maybe He should be the one to set the agenda.

Now, I am smart enough to know that disagreements which lead to conflict do arise from time to time in congregations. I don’t think that conflict in and of itself is sin. The sin is how we choose to deal with it. We can’t leave our “Christianity” in the closet while we disagree. A great deal of conflict could be resolved if people followed Matthew 18. It is simply amazing how well that process works. But it is much easier to “triangulate” (means gossip) than to follow Scripture.

Matthew 18 says that if you have a problem with someone, go to that person and confront him about it. Don’t complain to everyone else about that person or, as too often happens, call the bishop’s office before talking directly to that person. If the person won’t listen to you, take one or two other persons with you and confront him again. If the person won’t listen to you, then you pass it to the church to take action.

When the conflict is not handled in a biblical manner, it often escalates into a raging inferno of who is right and who is wrong. Feelings are hurt, relationships are damaged, and the church’s reputation gets a black eye when the conflict boils out of control. It has been simply amazing to me how people address one another in our churches when in conflict. Paul had a word for it in I Corinthians. It was carnal. Jesus called it “worldly,” as in acting just like the world. Is it any wonder why persons outside the church don’t see any difference between themselves and church attenders? How can we build spiritual ministries when we try to operate just like the world?

Jesus said in Matthew 18:19-20, “Again I tell you that if two of you agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” Our Lord said this in teaching how to deal with someone who sins against another. We often hear it quoted when we show up for church and there are just a few present. Well, when Jesus said “where two or three are gathered,” it was in the context of conflict resolution–not in justifying only a few showing up for prayer meeting.

For those churches embroiled in some form of conflict, I implore you to follow the process giving in Matthew 18. Even then, it might not remove the conflict. Then you might need someone to help you process the conflict further. I can happily refer you to persons skilled in conflict resolution. This is a much better way than choosing up sides and seeing who can out-duel the other side.

This may be far to simplistic, but churches that are being obedient to the Great Commission will probably also be obedient to the Scriptural instructions about dealing with conflict.

Also for what it’s worth, Chapter 28 in the Discipline, “Local Church Conflict Resolution,” might be helpful.

I will continue to call our church back to the Great Commission ministry of reaching those who are not yet Christ followers and seeing them become fully devoted followers of Jesus.

I will continue to pray that our local church leaders might become convicted over the lack of any “fruit” as a result of their ministry. At the end of 2006, reports showed that 58% of our churches were either stagnant or declining. In a few days we will mail the report forms for your church’s 2007 stats. What will they reveal about your church?

Here is my commitment to each of our churches for the remainder of my time in office. For any church or pastor who wants to see the church experience a turn-around from dysfunction and unhealth to being a vibrant, healthy congregation, I will marshal my energy and the resources of this office to do everything I can to help make that happen.